I had a lot of anger let out of me yesterday and still have anger issues. Some would think I should be embarassed to bring it up, but I think it is others who should be embarassesd in their bad judgement and sexual victimization. I can give many examples of it, but the one I notice that is the most hypersensitive is my eyes.
People have not won this one.
I only see hatred, inadequate revenge, and hypersensitive bad judgement. There have been people who have tried to make me out as a pervert. Even my own sister sadistically and inadequately likes to accuse me of looking at her in a perverted way. Like I said, I think it is them who should be embarassed.
She'll whip out her boob to show me her new tattoo just to say I was staring at her breasts. She will hand me her camera to flip through her shots to see her friends when I stumble upon some naked pictures while she stalkishly watches me and the minute I push the next button to find a surprised naked picture, "Sarah! What are you doing?!" My sister likes to play it off that I'm a retarded pervert. She knows I'm not. Its immature revenge, plain and simple.
I know I have brought it up before, but I meant it more towards the hunting men. The men who want to know what exact info it is that I'm looking up on my computer. What books am I reading? A possessiveness of what other men I am into.
I just look at what others assume as nothing but cancer and sexual abuse and victimization ON THEIR END.
I'm still a little shook up from yesterdays anger. It was a true and passionate anger and I hate the place I am, my helplessness, my isolation, that I really don't have many people in this world I can trust or who I think has either fair or adequate intelligence. Some people are smart; they really would rather let corruption win.
I really don't want to turn this into good and evil. I really would like to compete with the intelligence I have. With the way things roll sometimes, with how politics, assumptions, choices come out, sometimes, I have to use good and positive character traits as my battle ground.
I feel because of this, it has hindered a lot of growth in other areas that I really want more development and growth with.
So, when I fail a little, I don't really beat myself up much over because I know the background and past couple years I have come from.
Read more: http://www.myspace.com/sarah.riffey83/blog?bID=539162264#ixzz0zcEmmeVB
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